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Unintentionally Hilarious…and Filthy…

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From a few of my non-poker Facebook friends.

Absolutely Filtharious….


Sometimes a Straight Flush Isn’t Good Enough

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Straight Flush over Straight Flush

Rants of a Bitter Alpha Wolf

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Alpha Wolf

Alpha Wolf – A wolf pack has a definite social structure and rules of conduct. The pack leader is the Alpha Wolf and is dominant over all the other wolves in the pack. The alpha wolf gets to eat first at kills.

I originally wasn’t going to participate in the Survivor Donkey Poker game set up by BuddyDank and Julius Goat, but my competitive spirit got the better of me, and I decided to take part anyway.

Little did I realize I’d be punished for being the best player…the Alpha Wolf… on my team…ex-team.

Of the seven votes cast by my teammates, I was named on six of them after the first tournament.

This, after running the deepest of all of my teammates, providing the best chance to win team immunity, and proving that I am easily the best player on my team.

But Survivor isn’t always about being the strongest, and I realize this. It’s still not gonna stop me from ripping into my former teammates. After all, the Alpha Wolf always fights back when backed into a corner, right?

First off, I understand how rebuy tournaments work, unlike JamyHawk, who apparently doesn’t, even though he somehow managed to take one down in the days leading up to the first event of Survivor Poker.

He shoved a hand early, busted, and then neglected to rebuy…within the first 10 minutes or so of the hour-long rebuy period.

I mean seriously, he Gigli’d the tournament in the most idiotic fashion, and didn’t get voted off?

Then there’s the slew of people that played horribly during the tournament, and were just giving stacks away in spectacular fashion, even after the rebuy period was over.  I’m amazed that some of you are even allowed to play poker by loved ones, or maybe they haven’t seen you play yet…oh, by the way….Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!!!

So yes, I eliminated, or ended up decimating the stacks of a few teammates, but let me tell you this. I was NOT going to soft play against you just because you were on my team.

Take for example, Katitude. I crippled her when we both had around 17K in chips. I opened in middle position with QJoff. If you guys know me, if it folds to me, I’ll open with just about anything in middle or late position. This hand was no different. So Kat re-pops me for a minimum raise from the small blind. My first thought was a pair, probably 10’s or better knowing how she plays.

I’m calling here since are stacks are deep, and I can get away after the flop relatively unscathed.

I flop top two on a Q-J-4 board and she puts in a pretty sizable overbet of 5K.

I know Kat’s play well enough to realize that she’s got KK or AA here, because let’s face it, she, like the rest of my teammates, thinks that an overpair to any board is gonna be an automatic winner. I can reasonably rule out QQ or JJ since I have those cards in my hand, and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t re-raise preflop with 44

Her overbet on the flop pretty much telegraphed her hand to me, and it was an easy call with top two. No need to worry about straights or flushes here, because she doesn’t overbet draws like that.

If she plays her Aces a little slower, I’ll still win chips, but I probably wouldn’t have stacked her. Once again, another classic case of a player overvaluing an overpair.

Boom, there’s one bitter vote against me…simply because she butchered Aces, playing them about as poorly as you can in that spot. And I’m the one punished with a vote because I’m the better player.

In another instance, I take out BrainMC when he open-shoves for 18 BB’s with KQoff, and I call with AKoff. Another instance of me getting the bitter vote from a disgruntled teammate who fell in love with pretty picture cards.

I mean really, I’m the bad guy again simply because I’m good???!!!

Did I mention that my teammates overvalue overpairs in post-flop play?  Here’s another example.

Julius Goat and I take a flop after I call his 4.5X raise preflop with 88. Pretty standard preflop play by both of us.

I flop a set and he decides to get his remaining 18 big blinds in the middle with…you guessed it…Aces!!!

What am I supposed to do here, fold because he’s a teammate? Hell no!!!

Chalk up another vote against Numb from a bitter teammate who can’t fold an overpair.

These aren’t bad beats either people.  When the money got into the middle in each of these instances, I was a clear favorite.

I’m not much of a NLHE player, but next to my former teammates, I look like Stuey freakin’ Ungar.

Yet I’m voted out because I’m better than them. Oh well, the Alpha Wolf will live to hunt again…

Let me just say this, if there comes a time for me to come back and vote at the end of the game (which is what I hear will happen), I will cast my own bitter-vote, and it won’t be for any of my ex-teammates, that’s for certain.



PokerStars WBCOOP Time Again

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Online PokerI have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker! The WBCOOP is a free online Poker tournament open to all Bloggers, so register on WBCOOP to play.

Registration code: XXXXXX 772185

WPBT Collection

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I tried to update Windows Live Writer today, and it told me that I can’t.  I guess Windows XP is being phased out now….damn, I still love this OS, and my PC probably can’t handle Win7.

I posted my first part of the WPBT writeup…the second part will come, I don’t know when, but it will.  Real-life issues are taking precedence at the the moment.

In the meantime, here’s some WPBT writeups from people that we know and love.  This is not complete, just everything that I’ve seen so far.

From The Gnome – Great meeting you btw…

Lightning has his report right here…

STB’s report is here, in four parts.


AlCantHang’s is here…

Get your Pauly Version here…

The Waffles Version is also out there…

And of course Drizz  has his report

Grubby’s version is here…

Kat tells the tale here…

23Skidoo has a nice story…

OhCaptain has started his, and I think there’s more to come…

Derek’s is one of the funniest out there.

VeryJosie,  a Razz superstar has her take…

Snuffy’s report…

Doc Chako’s report…

Don’t know who this is, but here’s another one

Shelly’s report…

A little something from Grange

From Bayne

And Astin

YoSoyVeneno’s is here…

WPBT 2010 Pt. 1 – Pleased to meet you…hope you get my name…

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I’ve had this blog since 2004 or so, and I’ve used it for some nice writing, but mostly it’s just been a place to post about a nice win, which for me is just a couple of hundy.  I’m definitely on the fringe of what most consider "A" lists, or anything like that.

I don’t know how to play craps, but I can survive at a $5 blackjack table.  I play poker, but not really that well.  I’m here for the drinks and good times. That pretty much sums up my 2010 Blogger Gathering Experience.

I rolled into Vegas on Monday.  Yep…Monday… Wait, where the fuck is everyone???  OK, I was early, but with good reason.  My lovely girlfriend lives in LV, so as it turns out, the Blogger Gathering was simply coinciding with a normal trip out there.  Hell, in the twelve weeks prior to the gathering, I’d been in LV for six of them, so the town is not new to me…but the Strip is. I hate the Strip…Don’t get me wrong, I love everything the strip has come to represent in the last decade…excess…gluttony… but I really, really, really hate being there.  Fucking tourists who don’t know which side to walk on.  Drunken whores from Atlanta who think everything is just "soooooo darn purty…." Yeah, not really my scene.  Only been down there a couple of times to see some shows, and not really into it.  Sue me.

Let’s preface the rest of this by saying that I’ve only met five poker bloggers in person prior to this.  BuddyDank and Joanada for starters.  I gave Jo away at their wedding, and to this day, this is the coolest thing that anyone has ever asked me to do for them.  Also, Jimdniacc, a local blogger from Iowa who’s fallen off the radar in the last year.  And of course, Pushmonkey, who needs all of your prayers at this moment. I’m not kidding here, send a shout up to the big man on his behalf. And CK (who’s apparently locked down her blog), who is the point-woman for anyone of you who wants to come here and meet people.

Of course, I’ve gotten to know a great many of you through the years through blogger tourneys and BuddyDank Radio.  Had many IM convos with you, talked with you on-air, etc… But nothing is like the real thing baby.

My blogger weekend started Wednesday night.  We booked a room at the Flamingo for a couple of nights.  Something like $40 per night, decent deal.  Drove down, and met up with Buddy and Jo.  We saw them at the airport on Monday, funny story actually…we had arranged for Jo and I to catch the same connecting flight in Denver, but weather didn’t want any part of that apparently.  We did all see each other at McCarren on Monday at least.

So back to Wednesday, a pretty low key night. Met Astin who was playing Pai Gow with the intensity of a Lion stalking its prey on the plains. Finally met XKM1245, aka Jeopardy Boy, and we all decided to grab a bite.  Las Vegas secret here…the Oyster Bar at Harrah’s is great, wait, scratch that, how about fucking awesome.  Marlo and I had been there before, and had a great meal, and the second trip was even better, and we both have pretty high standards for seafood.  Everyone else went to a neighboring burger place…KGB’s I think…I don’t know.  I don’t really get into gourmet burgers. If someone reading this wants recommendations for great off-strip restaurants, let me know…I know good food, I was born and raised in a restaurant.

We found my bar…yes, I have a bar…more on this in another post.

After dinner, it was some light slot play, and then eventually down to O’Shea’s for some $5 blackjack with the tourists and Jo and Marlo.  This, to me, was one of my favorite parts of the entire weekend. And let me say this….I LOOOOOOOVE O’Shea’s.  So small, so full of young tourists, so fun. Just fun. I had a great time with the two of them, who seemed to be off in their own little world for a while in deep conversation.  Surely talking about nothing but good things about me…

So Day 1 in the books.  New bloggers met…two…XKM and Astin.

Thursday morning, and I can now officially say that I’ve slept on the Strip.  Yee-haw.  I feel like a cowboy.

Can I just say this right now. I hate cowboys.  There.  Done.  Fucking hicks were everywhere.

OK, I’m done.

Marlo is off to work by nine, and I catch a few more hours, wake up, clean up, and hit the Flamingo Buffet (nice deal on the room, $40 per night and 24h access to any Harrah’s property buffet).

I’d noticed at O’Sheas that they ran tournaments every two hours.  I inquired about them on Wednesday and just as I thought, they end up pretty small (1-2 tables), and pretty much have a turbo structure.  But, they were only $45…of course, I found out later that’s $30 + $15.  A terrible deal, but whatever, I wanted to play some poker.  I called Buddy up, he’s nowhere close to ready to leave the room.  Called XKM up, he’s out and about checking out Aria, but said he’d be there for the 1:00 tourney.  Yee-haw, donkey poker.  Got down there, and the tourney ends up with eight people…perfect. A donkey SnG to start the day off right.  First hand, some dude goes all in with K-10 on a K-x-x flop and some other donkey hits his six high straight on the turn.  Awesome.

It goes without saying that XKM and I ended up 1-2 in this, and we chopped the $240 (only first place paid) and headed for the IP. And so begins my downward spiral into a stupor that I wish I could remember.


We head on over to the IP, find a Pai Gow table, and I grab a seat.  I’ve never played before, so XKM is behind me for the first few hands, showing me the ropes, and I’ve got it down pretty quickly.  I’m turned around, chatting with him after setting my hand, and I hear a loud "PAI GOW!!!!!" from a few seats over.  At that very instant I KNEW that had to have been a blogger…I look over, and I see this big goofy guy smiling ear-to-ear.  I look a little closer, and I see a hearing aid in his right ear…I look at him, he looks my way…."Drizz!!!" I’m flabbergasted that I’d been sitting here for a few hands and didn’t realize I was in the company of my own.  I turn my head from him and towards myself…"Kat!!!!"…sitting right next to me…  Hugs ensued, and Pai Gow continued.  Drizz is a self-proclaimed Pai Gow Master btw.  Me, I just wanna keep pushing and get cocktails. StB is there, and XKM grabs a seat, and we sit and play Pai Gow for hours.  During which time I’m slowly getting drunk, and drunker…and drunkie… but I was winning…

During this time, Ben and Jo make their way down from their suite, and more hugs.  Iggy and Al show up…more hugs. More beer, more shots.  And by the end of the night…I’m on autopilot.  I’m all over the Geisha Bar, meeting everyone.  Doing mystery shots.  People met that day/night, but I could be wrong on this.  Falstaff, @Maigrey, Shelly, California April, Grange, PokerGrump, Otis, Snuffy, Don, BrainMC, Garth and Gretchen.  and many more.

I drank myself stupid and had to leave, which was a wise choice, but I’m pretty sure I lived up to my Huggie Bear nickname before I departed ways for the evening.  My liver started to hurt now.

More to come….

Dancing with Donkeys

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If this tweet from Phil Hellmuth holds any validity, I just might have to rename this blog…

OMG! Phil Hellmuth (me!) on “Dancing with the Stars!” Outrageous! Might make a fool out of myself on Worldwide Television one more time…

Awesome…just awesome…

(Did I just scoop this story?)


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Seriously… a bunch of idiot bloggers hooking up to get drunk and get stupid……..I’m IN!!!!

Double Dipping

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Spent the weekend back in my hometown participating in a couple of fantasy football drafts.  Well, one draft, one auction.  I love the auction format, sooooo much fun.  I’m the defending champ in that one, and with 12 teams and a $100 buyin, it makes for a nice payday come January.

Drove back to Des Moines Sunday night in my 13 year old pickup truck with the windows down the whole way…of course…because the A/C has been shot for about three years now, and I refuse to pay $600 minimum to fix it.  It was a nice evening though, and I listened to three or four of the Gambling Tales Podcast on the way back.  I’ve been collecting these podcasts on my iPod for some time now, but never got around to listening to them.  I must say, Falstaff and Special K have done a great job with it.  It’s thoroughly entertaining.

Got back home and was gonna play the late $5 HORSE, but it wasn’t starting up for about 45 minutes or so, and I wanted something pokery to do, but cheap to keep me busy until it started.  Pushmonkey suggested $3 NLHE Knockout Tourney, and we both entered.

To say that my NLHE game has been in the shitter for a while is a mild understatement.  Hell, the only time I really play NLHE anymore is The Mookie, and I can’t sniff the final table anymore in that thing, despite the fact that its only drawing about twenty people each week.


Knockout Victory

Book it baby, a victory!!!

And for good measure last night, I also did this…number twelve for those of you counting.

Horse Victory

The final tables for each of these went off pretty much at the same time, so it was a fun night.


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Its been about 8 months or so since I won this thing (on back-to-back nights last December), but I took the donkey HORSE tournament down for the eleventh time last night.

That is all.