Here’s the Hand History from the pushfest I won on Friday. Look for the chat comments in BOLD

This is to give those of you who don’t participate in these things an idea of just how much damn fun it is tilting a bunch of donkeys who are playing satellites to satellites for FTP points.

What transpires is 21 hands of absolute nirvana. I tried to cut down the garbage so it would be easier to follow. If you stick it out, and pay attention to the chat comments, it’ll be worth it.

[HAND 1]
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to NumbBono [8c 8d]
Zeem raises to 1,500, and is all in
bigchief107 calls 1,500, and is all in
armanipeople calls 1,500, and is all in
GRANT THE GURU calls 1,500, and is all in
NumbBono calls 1,500, and is all in

Zeem shows [4s 9c]
bigchief107 shows [Qh Kh]
armanipeople shows [Ac Qd]
GRANT THE GURU shows [9s 9d]
NumbBono shows [8c 8d]

*** FLOP *** [Jc Qc 8s]
*** TURN *** [Jc Qc 8s] [As]
*** RIVER *** [Jc Qc 8s As] [Ks]

Zeem shows Ace King high
bigchief107 shows two pair, Kings and Queens
armanipeople shows two pair, Aces and Queens
GRANT THE GURU shows a pair of Nines
NumbBono shows three of a kind, Eights
NumbBono wins the pot (7,545) with three of a kind, Eights

[HAND 2]
Seat 1: chic3381 (1,485)
Seat 2: aymoon77 (1,470)
Seat 3: therich4life (1,500)
Seat 4: pokerjokerbob (1,500)
Seat 5: dufchips (1,500)
Seat 6: muleproof (1,500)
Seat 8: luckylow15 (1,500), is sitting out
Seat 9: NumbBono (7,545)

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to NumbBono [6c Jh]
NumbBono: donkeys
NumbBono: all of you
NumbBono raises to 7,545, and is all in
aymoon77 calls 1,455, and is all in
therich4life calls 1,470, and is all in

NumbBono shows [6c Jh]
aymoon77 shows [Js Ac]
therich4life shows [2c 2d]

*** FLOP *** [7h Td Qd]
*** TURN *** [7h Td Qd] [7s]
*** RIVER *** [7h Td Qd 7s] [2h]

NumbBono shows a pair of Sevens
therich4life shows a full house, Twos full of Sevens
therich4life wins the side pot (60) with a full house, Twos full of Sevens
aymoon77 shows a pair of Sevens
therich4life wins the main pot (4,410) with a full house, Twos full of Sevens

[HAND 3]
Seat 1: chic3381 (1,485)
Seat 3: therich4life (4,470)
Seat 4: pokerjokerbob (1,500)
Seat 5: dufchips (1,500)
Seat 6: muleproof (1,500)
Seat 8: luckylow15 (1,500), is sitting out
Seat 9: NumbBono (6,045)

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to NumbBono [9c 5d]
NumbBono raises to 6,045, and is all in
chic3381 calls 1,485, and is all in
therich4life calls 4,455, and is all in

NumbBono shows [9c 5d]
chic3381 shows [Jc Jd]
therich4life shows [Kh Qs]

*** FLOP *** [Ad 2c Qc]
*** TURN *** [Ad 2c Qc] [4s]
*** RIVER *** [Ad 2c Qc 4s] [3d]

NumbBono shows a straight, Five high
therich4life shows a pair of Queens
NumbBono wins the side pot (5,970) with a straight, Five high
chic3381 shows a pair of Jacks
NumbBono wins the main pot (4,485) with a straight, Five high

[HAND 4]
Seat 1: NumbBono (12,030)
Seat 2: Chris Annouza (1,425)
Seat 3: muleproof (1,500)
Seat 4: nizmo jiz (3,090)
Seat 6: hendog1 (3,450)
Seat 7: dchase (1,500)
Seat 8: linch47 (1,500)
Seat 9: Poker_Kings457 (1,035)

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to NumbBono [2c 2s]
Donkette (Observer): GOOOOOOOOOO BONO
dchase calls 40
linch47 calls 40
Poker_Kings457 calls 40
NumbBono raises to 12,030, and is all in
dchase folds
linch47 calls 1,460, and is all in
Poker_Kings457 folds

NumbBono shows [2c 2s]
linch47 shows [Jc Qs]

*** FLOP *** [8h 2h 5d]
*** TURN *** [8h 2h 5d] [Th]
*** RIVER *** [8h 2h 5d Th] [7h]

NumbBono shows three of a kind, Twos
linch47 shows Queen Jack high
NumbBono wins the pot (3,140) with three of a kind, Twos
Donkette (Observer): booooooooooooooooom
Joanne1111 (Observer): BOOOOOOOOOOOOM

[HAND 5]
Seat 1: NumbBono (13,670)
Seat 2: Chris Annouza (1,425)
Seat 3: muleproof (1,500)
Seat 4: nizmo jiz (3,070)
Seat 6: hendog1 (3,410)
Seat 7: dchase (1,460)
Seat 9: Poker_Kings457 (995)

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to NumbBono [9c Kh]
Donkette (Observer): BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
NumbBono: donkeys
NumbBono: all of you
NumbBono raises to 13,670, and is all in
hendog1 calls 3,390, and is all in
dchase calls 1,420, and is all in

NumbBono shows [9c Kh]
hendog1 shows [7d As]
dchase shows [5d 5s]

Uncalled bet of 10,260 returned to NumbBono

*** FLOP *** [Ac 3s 6c]
*** TURN *** [Ac 3s 6c] [7s]
NumbBono: You guys need a copy of stupid system
*** RIVER *** [Ac 3s 6c 7s] [Kc]

NumbBono shows a pair of Kings
hendog1 shows two pair, Aces and Sevens
hendog1 wins the side pot (3,900) with two pair, Aces and Sevens
dchase shows a pair of Fives
hendog1 wins the main pot (4,380) with two pair, Aces and Sevens

[HAND 6]
Seat 1: NumbBono (10,260)
Seat 2: Chris Annouza (1,425)
Seat 3: muleproof (1,500)
Seat 4: nizmo jiz (3,070)
Seat 5: luckylow15 (1,500)
Seat 6: hendog1 (8,280)
Seat 7: zous (1,455)
Seat 8: ssincityy (1,500)
Seat 9: Poker_Kings457 (995)

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to NumbBono [2d 4s]
Poker_Kings457 calls 40
NumbBono raises to 10,260, and is all in
Poker_Kings457 calls 955, and is all in

NumbBono shows [2d 4s]
Poker_Kings457 shows [9s Js]

Uncalled bet of 9,265 returned to NumbBono

*** FLOP *** [3s 8c 4d]
*** TURN *** [3s 8c 4d] [4h]
*** RIVER *** [3s 8c 4d 4h] [8s]

NumbBono shows a full house, Fours full of Eights
Poker_Kings457 shows two pair, Eights and Fours
NumbBono wins the pot (2,050) with a full house, Fours full of Eights

[HAND 7]
Donkette (Observer): BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
Seat 1: NumbBono (11,315)
Seat 2: Chris Annouza (1,425)
Seat 3: muleproof (1,500)
Seat 4: nizmo jiz (3,070)
Seat 5: luckylow15 (1,500)
Seat 6: hendog1 (8,280)
Seat 7: zous (1,435)
Seat 8: ssincityy (1,460)

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to NumbBono [5c 4s]
NumbBono: another donkey goes down
InstantTragedy (Observer): BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM]
Zeem (Observer): finally figure the rng
luckylow15 calls 50
ssincityy calls 25
NumbBono raises to 11,315, and is all in
luckylow15 folds
ssincityy folds

Uncalled bet of 11,265 returned to NumbBono
zous: you are annoying
NumbBono wins the pot (150)

[HAND 8]
Seat 1: NumbBono (11,415)
Seat 2: Chris Annouza (1,425)
Seat 3: muleproof (1,500)
Seat 4: nizmo jiz (3,070)
Seat 5: luckylow15 (1,450)
Seat 6: hendog1 (8,280)
Seat 7: zous (1,435)
Seat 8: ssincityy (1,410)

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to NumbBono [Qd Qs]
muleproof raises to 1,500, and is all in
NumbBono raises to 11,415, and is all in

NumbBono shows [Qd Qs]
muleproof shows [Ks Kd]
Uncalled bet of 9,915 returned to NumbBono

InstantTragedy (Observer): Can I get A copy of Stupid System sir?
*** FLOP *** [Jc 4s As]
*** TURN *** [Jc 4s As] [Kh]
pushmonkey72 (Observer): q
pushmonkey72 (Observer): q
pushmonkey72 (Observer): q
pushmonkey72 (Observer): q
pushmonkey72 (Observer): q
*** RIVER *** [Jc 4s As Kh] [Ad]

NumbBono shows two pair, Aces and Queens
muleproof shows a full house, Kings full of Aces
muleproof wins the pot (3,050) with a full house, Kings full of Aces

[HAND 9]
Seat 1: NumbBono (9,915)
Seat 2: Chris Annouza (1,375)
Seat 3: muleproof (3,050)
Seat 4: nizmo jiz (3,070)
Seat 5: luckylow15 (1,450)
Seat 6: hendog1 (8,280)
Seat 7: zous (1,435)
Seat 8: ssincityy (1,410)

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to NumbBono [Tc 5s]
pushmonkey72 (Observer): so rigged
luckylow15 calls 50
hendog1 calls 50
NumbBono: donkey call with KK
NumbBono raises to 9,915, and is all in
luckylow15 calls 1,400, and is all in
hendog1 folds

NumbBono shows [Tc 5s]
luckylow15 shows [6c Ac]
NumbBono: I easily could have had Aces

*** FLOP *** [9c 7c 4s]
zous: youre a donkey
*** TURN *** [9c 7c 4s] [3s]
*** RIVER *** [9c 7c 4s 3s] [Ad]

NumbBono shows Ace Ten high
luckylow15 shows a pair of Aces
luckylow15 wins the pot (3,025) with a pair of Aces

[HAND 10]
Seat 1: NumbBono (8,465)
Seat 2: Chris Annouza (1,350)
Seat 3: muleproof (3,000)
Seat 4: nizmo jiz (3,070)
Seat 5: luckylow15 (3,025)
Seat 6: hendog1 (8,230)
Seat 7: zous (1,435)
Seat 8: ssincityy (1,410)

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to NumbBono [8h Ac]
Chris Annouza: you could have easily had !$@@
hendog1 calls 50
NumbBono raises to 8,465, and is all in
hendog1 calls 8,180, and is all in

NumbBono shows [8h Ac]
hendog1 shows [Qd Jd]

InstantTragedy (Observer): DONKEY POWER
*** FLOP *** [As 3s 2h]
*** TURN *** [As 3s 2h] [4c]
*** RIVER *** [As 3s 2h 4c] [2c]

NumbBono shows two pair, Aces and Twos
hendog1 shows a pair of Twos
NumbBono wins the pot (16,535) with two pair, Aces and Twos

[HAND 11]
Seat 1: NumbBono (16,770)
Seat 2: Chris Annouza (1,350)
Seat 3: muleproof (2,975)
Seat 4: nizmo jiz (3,020)
Seat 5: luckylow15 (3,025)
Seat 7: zous (1,435)
Seat 8: ssincityy (1,410)

Donkette (Observer): BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to NumbBono [Qh Js]
NumbBono: how do you guys wake up and spend money on poker…
NumbBono: …and live with yourselves
muleproof: everyone could take a piece of his %%$ just be patient
NumbBono raises to 16,770, and is all in
muleproof calls 2,975, and is all in

NumbBono shows [Qh Js]
muleproof shows [Ad Th]

*** FLOP *** [8d Kh 4h]
*** TURN *** [8d Kh 4h] [5s]
*** RIVER *** [8d Kh 4h 5s] [Jc]

NumbBono shows a pair of Jacks
muleproof shows Ace King high
InstantTragedy (Observer): SHIP IT!!!!!
NumbBono wins the pot (6,040) with a pair of Jacks

[HAND 12]
Seat 1: NumbBono (19,835)
Seat 2: Chris Annouza (1,350)
Seat 4: nizmo jiz (2,990)
Seat 5: luckylow15 (2,965)
Seat 7: zous (1,435)
Seat 8: ssincityy (1,410)

NumbBono: You should all go buy a book

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to NumbBono [Ad 5s]
Donkette (Observer): LOL
NumbBono raises to 19,835, and is all in
nizmo jiz calls 2,990, and is all in

NumbBono shows [Ad 5s]
nizmo jiz shows [8h 8c]
Uncalled bet of 16,845 returned to NumbBono

*** FLOP *** [3s 4d 6h]
*** TURN *** [3s 4d 6h] [Jc]
*** RIVER *** [3s 4d 6h Jc] [5d]

NumbBono shows a pair of Fives
nizmo jiz shows a pair of Eights
nizmo jiz wins the pot (6,070) with a pair of Eights

[HAND 13]
Seat 1: NumbBono (16,845)
Seat 2: Chris Annouza (1,350)
Seat 4: nizmo jiz (6,070)
Seat 5: luckylow15 (2,935)
Seat 7: zous (1,375)
Seat 8: ssincityy (1,410)

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to NumbBono [2d 7d]
NumbBono: fish
NumbBono raises to 16,845, and is all in
Uncalled bet of 16,785 returned to NumbBono
NumbBono wins the pot (150)

[HAND 14]
Seat 1: NumbBono (16,935)
Seat 2: Chris Annouza (1,350)
Seat 4: nizmo jiz (6,070)
Seat 5: luckylow15 (2,935)
Seat 7: zous (1,345)
Seat 8: ssincityy (1,350)

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to NumbBono [Ah 2c] (Big Blind)
Donkette (Observer): GOOOOOOOOOO NB
InstantTragedy (Observer): Donde Eata Carp
Chris Annouza: you ride him a little more?
Zeem (Observer): comfortably numb
NumbBono: do you guys wanna come to my home game?
OhCaptain (Observer): Go get’m NB
OhCaptain (Observer): I do!!!
Uncalled bet of 30 returned to NumbBono
Joanne1111 (Observer): LMFAO
NumbBono mucks
NumbBono wins the pot (60)

[HAND 15]
Seat 1: NumbBono (16,965)
Seat 2: Chris Annouza (1,350)
Seat 4: nizmo jiz (6,070)
Seat 5: luckylow15 (2,935)
Seat 7: zous (1,345)
Seat 8: ssincityy (1,320)

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to NumbBono [6d 2s]
nizmo jiz calls 80
OhCaptain (Observer): I’ll go to your home game!!!!
Astin (Observer): you’re such a cardrack
ANIguy (Observer): hey IT
luckylow15 raises to 320
Astin (Observer): nothing but great starting hands
NumbBono raises to 16,965, and is all in
nizmo jiz folds
luckylow15 calls 2,615, and is all in

NumbBono shows [6d 2s]
luckylow15 shows [Kd Ad]

InstantTragedy (Observer): Were on the radio tonight
Uncalled bet of 14,030 returned to NumbBono
*** FLOP *** [4c Jh 4s]
*** TURN *** [4c Jh 4s] [7c]
*** RIVER *** [4c Jh 4s 7c] [Tc]

NumbBono shows a pair of Fours
luckylow15 shows a pair of Fours
luckylow15 wins the pot (6,030) with a pair of Fours
NumbBono: nice suckout

[HAND 16]
Seat 1: NumbBono (14,030)
Seat 2: Chris Annouza (1,270)
Seat 4: nizmo jiz (5,990)
Seat 5: luckylow15 (6,030)
Seat 7: zous (1,345)
Seat 8: ssincityy (1,320)

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to NumbBono [8s Qc]
OhCaptain (Observer): Who plays that junk?
InstantTragedy (Observer): CARP, Tuna, Numbbono
NumbBono raises to 14,030, and is all in
Uncalled bet of 13,950 returned to NumbBono
NumbBono wins the pot (200)

[HAND 17]
Seat 1: NumbBono (14,150)
Seat 2: Chris Annouza (1,230)
Seat 4: nizmo jiz (5,910)
Seat 5: luckylow15 (6,030)
Seat 7: zous (1,345)
Seat 8: ssincityy (1,320)

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to NumbBono [2s 3d]
NumbBono: easy pickens
NumbBono raises to 14,150, and is all in
Chris Annouza calls 1,230, and is all in
luckylow15 calls 5,950, and is all in

NumbBono shows [2s 3d]
Chris Annouza shows [9d Ah]
luckylow15 shows [7d Ad]

*** FLOP *** [4s 4h Jd]
*** TURN *** [4s 4h Jd] [Kd]
*** RIVER *** [4s 4h Jd Kd] [4d]

NumbBono shows three of a kind, Fours
luckylow15 shows a flush, Ace high
luckylow15 wins the side pot (9,600) with a flush, Ace high
Chris Annouza shows three of a kind, Fours
luckylow15 wins the main pot (3,730) with a flush, Ace high

[HAND 18]
Seat 1: ssincityy (1,320)
Seat 2: Coopster_001 (3,935)
Seat 3: tupety (6,005)
Seat 4: NumbBono (8,120)
Seat 5: dufchips (635)
Seat 6: lvladskillz (16,950)
Seat 7: LloydHawk (2,160)
Seat 8: DoubleBogee (640)
Seat 9: kingcolby (1,385)

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to NumbBono [Td 7c]
Coopster_001 calls 80
NumbBono raises to 8,120, and is all in
Coopster_001 calls 3,855, and is all in

NumbBono shows [Td 7c]
Coopster_001 shows [Qs Qd]

*** FLOP *** [7s 9c 2d]
*** TURN *** [7s 9c 2d] [8s]
*** RIVER *** [7s 9c 2d 8s] [Ac]

NumbBono shows a pair of Sevens
Coopster_001 shows a pair of Queens
Coopster_001 wins the pot (7,990) with a pair of Queens

[HAND 19]
Seat 1: ssincityy (1,320)
Seat 2: Coopster_001 (7,990)
Seat 3: tupety (6,005)
Seat 4: NumbBono (4,185)
Seat 5: dufchips (635)
Seat 6: lvladskillz (16,910)
Seat 7: LloydHawk (2,080)
Seat 8: DoubleBogee (640)
Seat 9: kingcolby (1,385)

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to NumbBono [Qc 3s]
NumbBono: donkey call
Coopster_001: with queens?
tupety calls 80
Coopster_001: wasn’t a dopwey raise perchance?
NumbBono has 15 seconds left to act
NumbBono: you have no idea how to play this game
NumbBono raises to 4,185, and is all in
tupety folds
Uncalled bet of 4,105 returned to NumbBono
kingcolby: good job coopster
NumbBono wins the pot (280)

[HAND 20]
Seat 1: ssincityy (1,320)
Seat 2: Coopster_001 (7,990)
Seat 3: tupety (5,925)
Seat 4: NumbBono (4,385)
Seat 5: dufchips (635)
Seat 6: lvladskillz (16,910)
Seat 7: LloydHawk (2,040)
Seat 8: DoubleBogee (560)
Seat 9: kingcolby (1,385)

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to NumbBono [Ah 7d]
InstantTragedy (Observer): Como se dice PUSH??
ssincityy calls 100
NumbBono: nice sharkscope stats Coopster, you are awesome
Coopster_001: i saw an idiot and set him up
Coopster_001: that’s playing the game
Coopster_001 folds
NumbBono raises to 4,385, and is all in
ssincityy calls 1,220, and is all in

NumbBono shows [Ah 7d]
ssincityy shows [As Jd]

*** FLOP *** [9s 2c Qs]
*** TURN *** [9s 2c Qs] [5h]
*** RIVER *** [9s 2c Qs 5h] [7c]

NumbBono shows a pair of Sevens
ssincityy shows Ace Queen high
NumbBono wins the pot (2,790) with a pair of Sevens

[HAND 21]
Seat 2: Coopster_001 (7,990)
Seat 3: tupety (5,925)
Seat 4: NumbBono (5,855)
Seat 5: dufchips (635)
Seat 6: lvladskillz (16,910)
Seat 7: LloydHawk (2,040)
Seat 8: DoubleBogee (510)
Seat 9: kingcolby (1,285)

*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to NumbBono [Jd 6s]
pushmonkey72 (Observer): BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
OhCaptain (Observer): Well played!
Joanne1111 (Observer): BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
NumbBono: another donkey bites the dust
InstantTragedy (Observer): BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
tupety raises to 200
Donkette (Observer): GOOOOOOOOOOOO BONO
NumbBono raises to 5,855, and is all in
DoubleBogee calls 510, and is all in
tupety calls 5,655

NumbBono shows [Jd 6s]
DoubleBogee shows [Js Jc]
Zeem (Observer): haha humanoid
tupety shows [Th Ah]
InstantTragedy (Observer): Bring in the Dead

*** FLOP *** [As Kh Tc]
*** TURN *** [As Kh Tc] [Ad]
*** RIVER *** [As Kh Tc Ad] [5d]

NumbBono shows a pair of Aces
tupety shows a full house, Aces full of Tens
tupety wins the side pot (10,690) with a full house, Aces full of Tens
DoubleBogee shows two pair, Aces and Jacks
tupety wins the main pot (1,680) with a full house, Aces full of Tens
DoubleBogee stands up
NumbBono stands up